Sing Me to Sleep
by Kinishinaii
Summary: [makoharu yakuza(gang!) AU] Haru can't sleep and the only one he knows can comfort him is the one person almost out of reach. Luckily, Makoto has a trick up his sleeve (note: so this is turning into a general drabbles thing that I like to write based in this au so yes expect some updates)
1. Chapter 1

Haru watched the minutes tick by in little red lines one the clock,

12:43

1:00,

1:27,

2:04,

2:55,

They never stopped, those thin red ticks stuck to a black background of pixels, always moving forward, always shifting and changing, pushing on ceaselessly into the day. Haru watched the clock, but he also watched Makoto, using the ups and downs of his chest to signify the passing of each second. And with each passing second he thanked the gods that he still got to see the steady rise and fall of Makoto's breathing.

It was too hot. The room was smoldering around him, the sheets suffocating his body and tearing his skin apart. He tore them off and twisted away, trying to escape from the burning sensation creeping all over him.

_What if?_

What if Rin hadn't stopped him? What if he hadn't dragged Makoto out of the fight that day? Could Haru still watch with glistening eyes as the night turned later, using Makoto as his personal time keeper? Would they even be here right now at all, would the Bureau finally have caught up to them?

He could feel his nerves begin to fray as the pit in his stomach grew even deeper. Because the worst part was, he hadn't done anything about it.

He saw Makoto change, in that one split second he saw what was happening and he still chose to do nothing. If Rin hadn't been there, there's no telling what would have happened.

No matter what, there was no position to lay down in that felt comfortable with the growing ball of fear anchoring itself to his stomach.

How could he let himself be so selfish? Makoto need him and yet. . .

"Hey, Haru?"

He froze, sheets twisted, pillow askew and hands clenched.

"What's wrong," the soft voice came again, "Can't sleep?"

He could hear Makoto shifting in the other bed and saw his shadow appear as he sat up in the darkness.

"Yeah." Haru replied, untangling the sheets a little and sitting up himself.

He wanted to apologize, in any way he could. It was his fault that something had happened in the first place, it was his idea to even infiltrate and take over that school anyway.

"It's not your fault."

Haru felt his muscles stiffen and he turned to where he could still see the outline of Makoto against the lightly shadowed wall.

"I'm very good at knowing what you're thinking, Haru. Even in the dark when I can't see you," he said more quietly, laughing lightly to himself.

"You shouldn't blame yourself because I lost control. That isn't one of your responsibilities, you shouldn't have to keep your own leader in check. So Haru. . ."

He could hear Makoto moving again, but this time drawing nearer, closing the gap between them until they sat side by side.

"Go to sleep already, okay? I can't fall asleep until you do."

Haru still couldn't make out Makoto's face in the pitch blackness of their dorm room, but imagined him with one of those gentle half smiles, the ones he always wore when he was around Haru, the same smile every time. He felt himself lean in closer, nudging his head against Makoto's forearm.

"Haru?"

"Only if you sing to me."

"Huh?!"

Haru looked up, using his arms as support to move his head so that he strained to be even with Makoto's gaze, almost invisible in the night. Because even through the darkness, he could feel Makoto's face getting redder by the second.

"Sing. Anything. Then I'll sleep."

"But why?!" Makoto said, whining a little louder than expected.

Haru paused for a second before saying,

"I like listening to you. I like your voice, Makoto, that's why."

He could feel Makoto's sharp intake of breath and then silence very clearly. Makoto finally said ". . .Okay. Fine. But you have to lay down okay?"

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Just lay down okay! This is for you to fall asleep!"

Haru let a smile twitch to his lips before finally moving down and resting his head on Makoto's legs and curling his legs to intertwine with his.

"Haru. . ."

"Sing."

Makoto sighed, dropping his head a little before taking a deep breath. The room was totally silent as the first verse of the song began in Makoto's deep and gruff voice,

"_B__oku no shinzou ga ne, tomaru kono ni wa ne,_

_Kitto kono yo wo ne, mankitsu shi owatteiru to omou'n da" _

It's strange, Haru thought. That even though Makoto's singing voice was one he normally heard through the walls of the shower room or caught him whispering under his breath, it got him every time. He shut his eyes as the next verse began,

"_Yarinokoshita koto, nannimo nai kurai _

_Kimi no tonari de sa, waraitsuzuketeitai to omou'n da" _

It was some sort of love song, but Haru couldn't place the name of it anymore. Or maybe it was a lullaby of some sorts, sang to little children when they had trouble falling asleep at nap time.

"_Kono mune ga myaku utsi uchi kimi wo mada mamotteitai,_

_Ikiru imi nante sore de ii no, ii no." _

Makoto began to absently stroke Haru's hair, mingling his fingers in with the silky and knotted black mess. Haru leaned in to his touch, feeling his senses all tune in to all of Makoto's actions and words, like they alone could save him from this nightmare of a night.

"_Mou hitotsu, mou hitotsutte onaji namida wo kazoete, _

_Bokura wa mata otagai wo shiru'n da." _

Even as his voice began to tremble with his emotions at the brim, Makoto pressed on, all the while keeping his hand stroking at Haru's hair,

"_Takanaru koudo ga tsutaeteku _

_Kasanaru oto to nageru omoi wo,_

_Mou hanasanai to yakusoku shiyou _

_Itsudemo kimi ga samishikunai you ni" _

He felt the first tear escape from his eye and fall onto his shirt, not even knowing the reason for his tears. Makoto quickly took his other hand and rubbed his eyes, not caring whether or not they looked red in the morning,

"_Boku no shinzou wa ne, ippunkan ni ne _

_Nanajuu kai no ne, "ikiteiru" wo sakenderu'n da_

_Demo kimi to iru to, sukoshi kakeashi de _

_Hyakujuu kai no ne, "aishiteiru" wo sakebu'n da" _

Haru could feel himself slowly fading away. Under Makoto's unique and lulling voice, he felt himself drifting under, in a place between conscience thought and sleep. He curled more into Makoto, moving his leg against his and feeling comforrt in his warmth.

"_Boku to kimi ga deaeta koto ni _

_Nani ka riyuu ga aru to suru naraba _

_Unmei ka wa wakaranakute mo _

_Ureshii koto ni kawari wa nai yo ne"_

He was so safe. Makoto was the harbor Haru could always return to, the shore to firmly plot his anchor when he drifted away into the ocean. But he wanted to be that for Makoto to, All he ever wanted. . .all he wanted. . .

"_Itsuka boku wo yameru toki made _

_Ato nando "suki" to ieru no darou? _

_Koko ni irareru koto ni kansha shiyou _

_Tada ikiteiru koto ni arigatou."_

Makoto could feel that Haru was breathing deeply below him, his gentle exhales rustling against Makoto's leg every few moments. But for some reason he felt the need to finish, that if he didn't Haru couldn't sleep peacefully.

"_Takanaru kodou ga tsutaeteku _

_Kasanaru oto to nagareru omoi wo _

_Aishitsuzukeru to yakusoku shiyou _

_Shinpaku ga tomatte shimau made"_

The only noise was of sleeping Haru's breath. Makoto gently cupped his head in his hands and replaced his leg with a pillow, taking great care not to wake his friend in the process. He carefully slide the jumbled mess of blankets around Haru's waist and shoulders, and giving one lingering touch to Haru's cheek, silently moved back to his own bed.

Makoto could still feel the tears pooling behind his eyes and as he curled up into a ball under the covers felt a few of them slide down his face.

_I hope you realize it's all true, Haru. _

Makoto couldn't help but smile at the thought. Because he knew.

Haru definitely knew.

English translation:

You know, when my heart stops beating

I'm sure it must have fully enjoyed this world

I want to continue smiling by your side

So that I won't have any regret when the time comes

As long as my heart is still beating, I want to protect you

That's enough of a reason for me to live

As we count the same tear over and over again,

We will understand each other a little more

My racing heartbeats tell me

Of these synchronizing sounds and streaming thoughts

Let me promise never to leave you

So that you won't ever have to feel lonely

You know, every minute

My heart shouts "I'm living" 70 times

But when I'm with you, it's in just a little hurry

And shouts "I love you" 110 times

If there has to be a reason

For us to have met each other

Then I don't know if it's fate or not

But that doesn't change the fact that we're happy about it

Until the time I can no longer be myself

I wonder just how many times I can still say "I love you"

So let me be grateful for the fact that I can be here

Thank you, simply for the fact that I'm alive.

My racing heartbeats tell me

Of these synchronizing sounds and streaming thoughts

Let me promise to love you forever and ever

Until my heartbeat completely stops

You can listen to the song here!:

/2nfsfL7yJkk

Now this is originally a Vocaloid song but I like this cover more because it just sounds more lullaby-ish I guess hehe and I've wanted to write a one shot with this song for a long time so here we are

((((and yes it's an aokise video come at me bro))))


	2. Chapter 2

The only noise left in the room was the sound of his breathing. Haru stared at the ride and fall of his chest just a few feet away, never daring to blink, like if he did that constant ride and fall might disappear forever.

Haru felt his stomach roll when he remembered; it almost had.

Today. . .

There had been a single moment, just a single fleeting second, when his eyes had slid unconsciously searching for his presence, just like it always was when they became the Rebels. But instead all he saw was a half faced, green eyed mask, stained with spatters of red, blood that was undoubtedly belonging to his best friend. In that single moment, it was enough to bring Haru back down from the adrenaline of the fight, it had brought him crashing down back into reality. Because not only could their opponent see Makoto's face, but Haru could too and he knew:  
That was not the face of his best friend.

His eyes never left Makoto's face, still suppressing a shiver as he tightened his hand on the white sheets and swung them off his legs. He glanced at the clock. It was almost one A.M.  
Haru swung his legs down from his bed, stood, and cautiously reached out and fell to his knees in between the few feet separating their beds. Makoto didn't stir when Haru reached across the few remaining inches between them and lightly traced the outline of his ear, slender nose, sharp jawline, the tender skin of his eyelids that veiled the brilliant green underneath.

He's exhausted, Haru realized when Makoto remained asleep even as Haru's touch wandered down his neck, following the veins and contours of muscle down to his exposed collar bones.  
Getting up off his knees and slowly crawling up and sliding next to him, Haru could feel the heat rolling of his friend in sharp waves.  
He seems so real, so alive, so human right now. But back then. . .

No, he thought nudging his foot so that it lay between Makoto's on top of the doesn't just seem that way, that's who he is. He's the same Makoto I've always known. Maybe things are changing but he will always be the same, he'll always be mine. My Makoto. That's the way it'll always be.

"H-Haru?"  
That's the way it'll always be. . . Right?  
"H-H-Haru?! What-"  
He pushed his head up, resting it gently on Makoto's broad shoulder, his blue eyes focused on finding some source of that bright green that confirmed that things would be the same, that they always would be. He craved the familiarity, the closeness he had felt with no other living human.

Makoto turned his head, just inches away, lips parting to reveal a slightly crooked but perfectly white teeth. He was so close Haru could feel the warmth of his breath in the space between him, the warmth was so close it almost felt like he Haru could reach out and grab it.  
"You're so warm, Makoto."  
The warm breath between them ceased for a moment, his lips closed and his eyes widened.  
"Haru. . ."  
"I don't want you to look so cold ever again, okay?"  
"Wha?"  
Yes, that's what it was before. In that moment, Haru had felt the lack if Makoto's warmth for the first time. Makoto had shown his coldness before, but never in front of Haru.

"Just promise me. Alright?"  
Haru shifted slightly and let his arm rest across Makoto's chest, bring their heads so that they rested forehead against forehead, black and brown hair mingling against the white pillows. Just as Haru shut his eyes, he could feel the soft press of something just above his mouth, barely missing his nose. His stomach flipped again, but this time he didn't really seem to mind it.

"Promise."  
He barely caught the words as they escaped Makoto's lips before leaning forward and placed his lips firmly against Makoto's.  
"What was that for?"  
"You missed the first time, idiot."


End file.
